But reviewing it today a couple of nits. Clint Eastwood does not have the Detroit cred of Eminem, even though “I’ve seen a lot of tough eras, a lot of downturns in my life.” (I wondered if he actually was born in the Motor City and looked it up. No: San Francisco, CA.) And honestly as the spot began I was thinking it was a Clint Eastwood voice imitator (he was there but in shadows) and by the time he showed up I was almost irritated that it really was Clint. And of course the parallel to the Hal Riney “It’s morning in America” Reagan ad was a distraction for anyone who remembered.

The observation that “the fog of division, discord, and blame made it hard to see what lies ahead” was also a calculated risk on timing which I think misfired. Carl Rove says that’s a political attack which is for sure protesting too much. The producers were simply going for a chord of empathy, assuming we would be in the midst of hard times when they made the spot but the economy seems to be looking up so it doesn’t ring true for at least one viewer.

So, I still prefer Eminem’s spot last year. But I still think I will buy a Chrysler in the form of that little Fiat that morphs into a giant woman dressed in red and black in another Super Bowl spot.

1. Care about your job. If you treat your advertising as just another mechanical process that you get paid for, it’s hard for your copywriters to get enthusiastic. The truth is that what you are doing for your company is terribly important because, like Roy Chitwood says, nothing happens until somebody sells something and your efforts are what make the sales begin. Believe in what you are doing and it will show and I will work harder for you.

2. Get your shit together. Nothing is more disheartening to me than to have a bunch of stuff dumped on me that my client hasn’t read and isn’t familiar with when I ask questions. If it’s not important enough for you to review and organize the source material, why should it be important to me? That overused word “curate” is relevant here. Like a museum director, you should curate the research documents so I can discover each one in proper context. And, needless to say, you should include a creative brief.

3. Set realistic schedules. Given enough money, yes I can meet that tomorrow morning deadline. But there’s a hidden price for that. I need time to explore options and if you always begin with an impossibly short deadline (doesn’t matter whether it is your own disorganization or client pushback, the net effect is the same) you will lose valuable creative development time while paradoxically paying more. It’s also much less satisfying for the copywriter or art director because they know the finished product might have been better if they had more time.

4. Provide constructive feedback. Don’t say you don’t like it. Don’t unilaterally rewrite it. Instead, tell me in as much detail as you can what you think of my copy and why. This particular great client couldn’t decide which of my headline approaches (long vs short) worked best so they put them in layout so we could both look at them together. Now I am falling all over myself trying to do the best possible revision.

5. Defend the work. Don’t come back and tell me we have to water down a marketing statement or replace strong copy with jargon because “sales won’t accept that” or “this may be too edgy for our reader”. You clearly outlined the project and any sacred cows in the creative brief (you did write that, yes?) and if the end product follows that direction your responsibility is to sell it internally. It is my personal hunch that push-back from sales is a sign of fear: they aren’t confident in their ability to do their job so every effort to support them is looked at with suspicion. Don’t get sucked into this zero sum game. Confidently defend your marketing decisions because you believe in them. (See #1 above.)

6. Say thank you. If you follow the above steps you will get a pretty amazing creative result so don’t forget to say you are grateful. And don’t be surprised if your creatives are just as grateful and continue to do their best work on your behalf.

7. Pay on time.

Cubelets. Designed for kids to learn programming, Cubelets are magnetic blocks that can be snapped together to produce complex reactions. For example, the brightness block determines the available amount of light and turns on the flashlight block, then the distance block tells the driving block to move the whole structure down the table. You can watch a really silly video since my photo didn’t work out well, and you can also preorder an (expensive) prototype kit to ship in March.

Postcard on the Run. An iPhone or Android app that lets you choose a photo, write a message (including your written signature) then mail it as a physical postcard to an address in your address book. I tried it out and the app was going to charge me $1.99 (including a scratch n sniff layer at 50 cents extra) which is not a bad price compared to buying and mailing a postcard from the post office.

Twykin.com. These guys are doing a mashup of bulletin boards, FAQs, Wikipedia type user written articles and using it to develop as a test case the world’s first crowdsourced customer service application. You’ll have to trust me (and I will have to trust them) on this one since their developer was in an accident just before CES but they promised to get back to me and I’ll do a full piece at some point in the near future.

Blippar. Instead of shooting a QR code with your smartphone that takes you to a website, the Blippar app allows you to interact directly with an augmented reality application. The examples shown by this UK company include a ketchup label that allowed you to turn the label into pages you can flip through, and a retail page in which you can order directly from the app.

SurfEasy.  This is a USB dongle that fits into a credit card-size carrier. On it are your browser preferences and passcodes with bank-level encryption so you can just plug into a public device and go right to work. There’s no storage on the device, but it comes with 2 GB of cloud storage. It’s a bit pricey at $60, but solves a problem for folks who use public computers in what looks like a complete and well thought-out execution.

That’s it for CES 2012. See you next year.

Artist drawing with Samsung Note

Best marketing: Samsung Note. This is the new device that’s small enough to use as a phone yet big enough to use as a tablet, soon to be announced for AT&T. (I want one!) To show off its capabilities, they had two artists doing portraits of showgoers using the special pen that comes with the device, and all their advertising features examples of these portraits.

Kodak "Sharing Solutions" at CES 2012

Best “dead man walking” imitation: Kodak. Even though they’re openly attempting to sell off their units to avoid bankruptcy, they were in their exhibit space maybe because they’d already paid for it. There was only a single wall of cameras, which they now call “sharing solutions”; more irony, they’ve now started packaging their inkjet cartridges in boxes that look like Tri-X film boxes.

Intro to the LG display area at CES 2012

Best commitment to 3D TV: LG. They ask you to put on the glasses before you enter their space, and leave them on because there’s just one 3D TV after another. I still predict a short lifetime for this fad and think it will wither once everybody who wants a 3D TV has one. The summer Olympics are being broadcast in 3D, I learned at the show, so that will be a tipping point one way or the other.

Biebermania!

Best waste of time: Justin Bieber. He was standing doing something in the middle of the Vody robotics booth, and a huge press of people were seeing nothing except the back of each other’s heads. The C/Net camera, a few rows back, did capture a wisp of his famous locks. Meanwhile, other showgoers were actually learning something about technology.

New York Deli has great sandwiches

Best food without leaving the show: Uncle Joel & Darryl’s New York Deli, toward the back of the central hall. Real deli sandwiches with a pickle and excellent cole slaw and potato salad, for just a couple bucks more than you’d pay on the street.

Casio watch tells you when your phone is ringing.

Best example of missing the boat: Casio. As they world switched to smartphones, they made a strategic decision to stick with watches. New this year, a Bluetooth watch that will alert you when a call is coming in. Hey, I have a phone for that.

Panasonic's solar racer

If you are at CES, be sure to check out the “eco ideas” section of the Panasonic exhibit. Once again, they score with irresistible concepts and catchphrases for ideas that may or may not ever become practical but should be. A racecar that rockets across the Australian outback under its own solar power, and beats its nearest competitor by an hour. A planned community in Singapore built within a solar/wind farm on the site of an old Panasonic factory, so energy is immediately available for use without being stored or transmitted. An electric car that is recharged wirelessly, and warms its passengers with its onboard heat pump.

Panaonic's 3D screen, in which the image is projected on building blocks

The indefatigable Joey Lao

Be sure you get your demo from the indefatigable Joey Lao, who was featured a couple of years in my still-popular post on the heat pump washer/dryer. And don’t miss the showcase video, a tour de force in which the screen itself, not the camera, is in 3D.

Some of these companies, like Twonky, have a real niche product.

Because I’m here to study how companies market themselves, I like to look at how good they are in their signage. With 100+ companies in a large ballroom, I’m not going to listen to everybody’s elevator pitch. It’s amazing how many just put up a sign with their name, giving no clue what they do. Others have slogans or graphics that are edgy or plays on words but, again, give no clue what the product or service is.

Creepy signage from YurBuds.

I’d like to do a marketing makeover of some of these guys, similar to the lightening rounds I used to do with Carol Worthington Levy at DMA events. Someone would bring up their catalog or mail pack or ad and we’ll have to fire off quick ideas to make it better. Some of our ideas were better than others, but it’s amazing how many obvious improvements are hiding in plain sight.

One company that could use a makeover is YurBuds, with its “earbuds that won’t fall out.” Please, don’t make them look like implants. Don’t make them red like blood. Don’t make the cords look like blood dripping from your ears. Change those things and your product will be less creepy and sell better.

Glasses that look like glasses, from EmPower.

Another candidate is EmPower (note unhelpful jargony name), a company that makes eyeglasses with built in electronics in the earpiece that changes them from reading glasses to distance glasses at the touch of a finger. Invisible bifocal glasses that do this cost hundreds; these are $12 and available already at 1200 opticians. Nice story… but they miss the boat with a marketing display that features the fact they are glasses. Yes, we know that. It is the hidden electronics that makes them different. To demonstrate that, show them as anything BUT glasses.

Nicole Messier demos Kogeto panoramic camera.

The only truly new product I saw was from Kogeto: a camera that attaches to your iPhone and will take a panoramic photo which you can then upload to Facebook or a similar app; the viewer uses a slider to move the image around. It was so cool that, true story, I did not even notice it was my pal Nicole Messier doing the demo. Their signage could use some work however.

Doesn’t anybody do customer research any more? Wouldn’t it be a better idea to find out how your customers are going to react before you implement a toxic new policy? B of A and Verizon wanted to charge customers for using a debit card and paying a bill online; since those policies subsequently were reversed they’re fiscally in the same place as before but with bad press and a lot of pissed-off customers. Netflix soldiered on with its plan to separate its DVD delivery and streaming content, but paid a terrible price in subscribers and market value. How is any of this a benefit to the shareholders?

I guess it’s good news that the cycle of mea culpa is getting shorter, as noted above. But meanwhile I’ve noticed a couple of new assaults on my wallet from smaller companies and wonder if it’s part of a larger trend to put short term revenues ahead of longer term customer loyalty and common sense.

I previously wrote about Boingo and their “good news” that I could now download an updated version of their wireless roaming app that allowed me to use just two devices in my account rather than have unlimited access. I cancelled, but then I recently found myself in the BWI airport needing wireless access and was tempted by an offer to get a $25 American Express gift card after 2 months of service. So I re-upped, after discovering out something interesting: of the three different devices I was carrying, each received a different offer when I went to boingo.com. My laptop (where I’d received the email) told me I could join for $9.95 a month and made no mention of the gift card. My tablet offered the gift card and $9.95 a month. My Android had the gift card for the rate of $7.95 a month so that’s how I joined. But I don’t need a wireless service on my cell phone since it has an unlimited data plan so I went through the process of registering my laptop and tablet and was told oops, I’ve reached my 2 device limit.

Turns out the very act of signing up had registered the cell as one of my two devices and now my only option is to cancel it, effective at the end of the billing period one month hence. So I’m down to one device during this period and then can register my second device. Just way too much clunkiness for customer satisfaction and what makes it all more irritating is that Boingo has this breezy website where a message “oops… something has gone wrong” that pops up way too often and only serves to increase my irritation with that man behind the curtain.

A more disturbing revenue tactic was applied by Bill Me Later after I tried to take advantage of an offer for $15 off when I paid for an eBay transaction through their service. I was told online that, for unspecified reasons, they were unable to process my payment so fine, I paid through Paypal. I then started to get daily voicemails from somebody who left a message saying “This is the fraud department at ramamafoqw calling about a recent transaction…” They didn’t exactly say ramamafoqw but they did mumble the company name. After several calls I realized they were saying “Bill Me Later.” I called the number and got a message “we’re sorry, no one is available.” Finally their representative reached me live and it turned out the purpose of this “fraud alert” was to set up an account, but not offer me the $15 credit since that one had expired.

So that’s downright deceptive… using the fraud alert concept, which has struck terror into the heart of every consumer at one time or another, to make the customer pay attention so you can sell them a service. (And how did they get my number? Well, turns out Bill Me Later is owned by Paypal…) What this has in common with Boingo, and also the three giant companies mentioned above, is that nobody applied the sniff test. As in, “this will hopefully make us some money but is it going to make our customers more loyal and satisfied, or less?” If that question is no longer relevant, then it’s going to be a long year.

P.S. Reading over this post, my experiences do sound a bit down in the weeds and yes I do have better things to do than chasing after $25 gift cards. But these are the hooks marketers use to get customers and prospects involved, and if they don’t provide a satisfactory customer experience or are perceived as deceptive then sales will suffer and more than likely we in the marketing department will get the blame.

Because it is so important and satisfying, salespeople like to linger a bit on the close and add a bit of art to it. There is lots of ink on best/proven/classic closing techniques. A good salesperson will first make a trial close in which they soften up the prospect to get them to agree to a small point before proceeding to the actual sale. (Example: “Sounds like the hatchback is a better fit for your family’s needs, am I right?”) Then they might use the assumptive close in which they act as if the sale has already been consummated and query on a subsequent point (“Will you be using a credit card for this?”) or the alternative close which also makes an assumption and gives the reader a subsequent choice (“Now, do you want that in red or black?”)

Roy Chitwood, whom I’ve quoted throughout this series, offers The Guaranteed Close: “If we can (reprise something the prospect said was important) then can you think of any reason we shouldn’t (consummate the agreement)?” E.g. “If we can get those red slipcovers you liked, can you think of any reason we shouldn’t get the paperwork started?” The beauty part is that the salesperson gets the sale by making the prospect say “no”.

Good direct response copywriters will close the sale in a manner that’s quite different but leads to the same outcome. They will sprinkle their emails, web pages or letters with repeated brief calls to action because you never know when you’ve provided the right amount of sell for some readers to make a commitment. Then, for those who have stuck with you all the way to the end (this applies mainly to classic long-form direct mail letters), reward them with a wind-up in which you:

• Spell out in detail all the benefits that are waiting for the prospect, accompanied by a description of the response options available (today it’s usually click the link or call).
• Couple this with your guarantee that proves there is absolutely no reason NOT to say yes.
• Include a limited time offer if you have one, or penalty for NOT responding. (Only 25 attendees can be accommodated to insure personal attention to each student! This guide is available in very limited quantities and when they’re gone, they’re gone!)

Then you’re done… as is this 7-part series, in which we have mused upon how good copywriting follows many of the same formulas as face to face selling. If you’ve joined us late, please go back and start from the beginning. Thanks for reading!

Excerpted from my new book, Copywriting that Gets RESULTS! Get your copy here.

Objections, also known as FUD (fears, uncertainties and doubts), are perceived reasons not to make a purchase that is otherwise attractive. By making an objection, the prospect is giving the salesperson a clue about something important to them. And by completely and correctly answering the objection, the salesperson can actually increase the prospect’s commitment level.

For example, if the prospect says it’s too expensive the salesperson can point out how it will actually save money, how not having it is costing them money, how the price is likely to be higher tomorrow.  If they say they want to shop around the salesperson will ask what they’re looking for from the competition and then prove how this product solves the problem in the best possible way.

So how does a copywriter answer objections, when you don’t have the reader in front of you to gauge their reaction to your written sales pitch? One answer is research—which can come from talking to a sales rep or product manager, reading up on the industry you’re selling to, or ideally from information in a good creative brief. You’re looking for big objections—the top one or two reasons buyers don’t buy—because that’s all you have time to respond to in your copy without getting off track.

A good example is the control direct mail I wrote for Geneva, a merger and acquisition consultant which wants to get business owners to attend a free seminar on how to evaluate their business. (The letter from this package is available on my website.) The #1 objection that business owners put forward was that they couldn’t admit to themselves (or to their employees) that they would consider selling the business. So we created a lift note that said just that with a pull quote on the outside: “I’m not about to sell my business… not after all the work I put into it!” And inside they read the story of a peer who felt the same way, but got a fabulous offer for more than he thought the business could possibly be worth. Objection answered.

Also, if you’re selling via direct response, certain objections come with the territory since customers can’t touch and feel the product. Will it work as advertised? What if it’s delivered and I don’t like it when I see it? And the answer is to paint very clear word pictures of how great it will be to use the product so the reader starts to visualize themselves doing just that, successfully, and becomes invested in your pitch. Couple this with a strong, clearly stated no-risk guarantee and you’re on your way.

Next time: we’ll conclude this series with thoughts on “The Guaranteed Close”.

Excerpted from my new book, Copywriting that Gets RESULTS! Get your copy here.

1. About you… are you a person I want to do business with?
2. About the company you work for or represent.
3. About your product or service.
4. About the price of the product or service you are selling.
5. About the time to buy.

Most copywriters spend all their time on step 3. But if you haven’t established credibility and trust, it doesn’t matter how appealing your product or service is because your audience doesn’t believe you are capable of providing it. And until you have created a need in the reader’s mind, it doesn’t matter how affordable it is or if you can buy one get one free for a limited time. (Which is why it’s rarely a good idea to use a price discount offer in prospecting for new leads.)

In my copywriting class we go through a role playing exercise where one student is a salesperson following Chitwood’s Track Selling method, and the other is the owner of a small insurance agency acting as the prospect. The prospect needs a new high speed copier but is concerned about cost and ease of use. However, they are also embarrassed that the current copier makes poor copies that do not represent the agency well. It’s the salesperson’s job to dig out these needs and concerns (which are described on a briefing sheet the salesperson does not see) and get an act of commitment.

This exercise happens shortly before lunch the first day, and I usually have two or three pairs of students go through it. Very few of these students have ever sold anything face to face before. The exercise gives them new respect for the concept of selling through your copy, as opposed to the straightforward presentation of technical features which is what most of them do in their marcom jobs.

Yet the salesperson’s job is easier in one way, because they have the prospect in front of them and can modify their pitch on the fly based on audience reaction. Next time: how you can too, sort of, in the way you handle objections and FUDs.

Excerpted from my new book, Copywriting that Gets RESULTS! Get your copy here.